What happens when a wound is actually healed?
When the aspect of yourself that once felt destroyed or beyond repair mends?
A simple physical wound you can watch. See how many times you might want to rip it back open again. How often you complain about the cast or the resetting of a bone. Then, at some point, we can accept that it’s healed. Even if we might be different or feel different as a result, and integrate. The physical process is similar to the psychological and spiritual ones. Only these, of course, are more difficult to see.
In a training not too long ago the teacher asked us what the world would be like if everyone was healed?
Imagine it. Every single cell and being in the entire world fully healed.
What would we do? How would we be?
It seemed unfathomable to comprehend. So radical a concept that I had never given it any thought. I felt my brain stick and pause at the scope of what was being asked.
None of us had an answer.
The answer came forth that we would create. That we are creative beings.
I wrote a piece a few weeks ago and didn’t publish it here. I spent the whole day writing and editing. As I was reading what was written, my heart sunk with a feeling of disconnect. I found myself retelling, once again, the same old story. The same things I’ve shared in different ways many times before only with a slightly new twist. A new kernel of awareness, sure, and otherwise, a feeling of boredom came over me with this retelling.
The story no longer fit.
We are done.
This realization took me on an internal journey questioning authenticity and creativity. How important it is to allow what has healed to be so. To not keep picking at the scab. To not stay stuck in it as an identity. How so very important that work is to do so that others can do it too. This is continuing to unfold as I reflect on how incredible the feeling is when a student or client no longer needs me. When they find out that it was never anything to do with me all along, but always them. When their stories shift and they can move out into the world too, more aligned and thriving in their own right. When they can create what it was they have always wanted in life. What they want to offer to the world.
I’ve often sought in work to make myself obsolete. Not in a bad way. In a very good way. I have been in many corporate jobs where I always found ways to make the work do itself. Or to be more efficient. That way I could go and do something else. It was like healing broken systems to free myself (and others).
My healing path is similar.
I’m certainly not 100% healed with everything ever possible in my psyche – ha! Not at all. And I no longer need to stay in the wounds that brought me to this path. They’ve been exposed and dug out and looked at and tended to with countless invisible salves.
What I thought was impossible at the outset has happened.
The stories change. The old ones no longer need to be told and I can step free of them. The ground that was seemingly ruined and gauged out is now solid yet flexible. No longer vibrating harm. And…
Creativity flourishes, flowing through me, uncharted and without attachment.
The stories become new.