I often have a feeling come over me that I must write (like right now). I have no clue what will come out or where it will take me, and I know that I have to listen. It just builds up, pestering me, patting me on my shoulder, until out it comes.
This is the push of creativity. The one that can easily be denied unless we choose to listen.
I’ve been on a nomadic journey over the past two years and I recently felt called to go to Glastonbury, England. It came strongly and I listened to that call too. The date even appeared. April 30th. So I went.
What I didn’t realize at the time was that it was the time of Bealtaine or Beltane – an ancient sacred ritual and rite of passage marking the cross-quarter point in the year between the Spring Equinox and Summer Solstice. A time of that bubbling up of potency from the land below and showering down from the stars above, culminating in transformative, sexual and creative energy ready to start fertilizing any seeds in need of growth.
Creativity is continuous. It is a never-ending part of our life force energy and at times becomes particularly loud.
For me, standing on the Tor on the eve of Bealtaine with a dear friend, surrounded by the mists of Avalon and the not quite dark not quite light atmosphere suspended time. We had been there before, it felt, and had come again for some purpose. The beating of a drum and chanting of others also helped create something that I never could have planned or even expected. It was a spontaneous co-creation beyond anything from my imagination and yet I have felt it, tasted it, known it in dreams.
The entire time in Glastonbury was potent for me. Mystical. Synchronistic. What was unfolding around me was bigger than me and yet, I was also an active participant.
I have always dreamed of Avalon. Always was drawn to stories of Camelot and King Arthur’s court. Merlin. Morgana.
What I didn’t understand until now was how Avalon still exists. It’s energy is still here – superimposed or co-existing with what is now Glastonbury. The imprint of Avalon is strong and that is what I have also been feeling called to. That is what my soul yearned to experience and dive into. What I have been seeking for some time, I suspect. Without knowing it was real and that I could actually go there.
My heart opened in this place on new levels. It expanded and I could feel something within me shift that is beyond my comprehension. An opening followed by a closing after I left. A conversation in my head that tries to be rational, despite direct experience with the magical. The majestic. The creativity that pushes on my shoulder to emerge surged out and I felt radiant and then… made the difficult transition of trying to make sense.
It’s this other sensing though that I’m discovering; this sensing beyond me. This co-creation with a bigger picture. With spirit. With powers that be. With others. With energies that may be invisible but can be felt and seen within imagination or within psychic powers. These powers that have been subjugated for all of us for so long that we’ve been taught they aren’t rational and therefore aren’t important or even real.
Not only are they real, they are essential to health, wholeness, and living a full life.
Those are the very forces of creation and living that I’ve been following as I’ve tried to reassemble a fragmented psyche. Allowing myself to trust in these powers with every step on this nomadic journey with absolutely no clue where I’m going. To have a life that may not make sense but which serves me (and hopefully others) well. To feed that spirit and soul that yearns for not knowing exactly what or how. For being open to the mystery and seeing what happens if I pull this string or look under that rock.
I had to smile that my stay in Glastonbury/Avalon was my 111th place that I’ve stayed in the past two years. Of course. It is agreed upon that this number symbolizes the principles of spiritual awakening and enlightenment, high energy, inspiration and intuition, self-expression and sensitivity.
So as I explored this place and space geographically, I was also exploring it within myself. The child in me was radiant at finally discovering Avalon. The potential past lives I’ve lived also satisfied at returning to this place of knowing these secrets already. Of participating in ceremonies in that very spot, and knowing it’s something I’ve done before. The current me feeling and embodying the experience in my heart so that it’s there to draw upon again in future. To emanate and radiate out from the heart this creative energy. To shine it upon others.
It felt like an awakening. A re-membering.
And a realizing – that everything is creation – co-creation. It’s up to us to trust in those visions and whisperings. The nudges on the shoulder that say, write, sing, dance, paint, draw – create with me. It’s okay – you don’t need to know the outcome at the start or even at the end.
It’s the taking action and participating in the creation of life that is essential.
Create with the life force of the dream that wants to unfold. See it in visions. Share them. Co-create with something other than. Something larger than. Something you may not have been able to trust in or have faith in and yet, is there. Within you and outside of you simultaneously. Waiting for you to listen. To help in some way. To trust in the dreams you have and to surrender to living them.